LIVE: Relate by the Spirit — Relate to Yourself

LIVE! … By the Spirit™ with Kathleen E. Walls

Relate to Yourself

© 2011 Kathleen E. Walls, Psy.D.

“Do unto yourself as you do unto others”.

I can hear some of you saying, “that’s not what it says…it’s supposed to say, ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’.”  I know, I know but what I’ve found over the years is that people will “do unto others” but not “do unto themselves”.

See people learn from watching; therefore, we must show people how to relate to us. I’m sure you have heard the saying, “I Can Show You Better Than I Can Tell You”However, in order for us teach others how to relate to us, it is important to take the time to know ourselves, thereby understanding how to Relate to Yourself.

Last week I discussed the idea of relating to life circumstances/events and each other in the same way that we perceive spirit would.  I ask that you do the same for yourself…that you Relate to Yourself the same way that you perceive Spirit relates to you.  If you are not sure what that would look and/or feel like, take a moment and think about and list the qualities of Spirit.

Spirit is often referred to as a comforter and nurturer.  I have even heard some refer to the Spirit as the feminine aspects of God.  Take a moment…right now…what are the positive qualities that you ascribe to Spirit?  Once you identify these qualities, now apply them to yourself.

For instance, if you relate to Spirit as patient…show yourself patience/be patient with yourself.  If you relate to Spirit as loving, be loving to yourself.  If you relate to Spirit as kind, be kind to yourself.  Often times we are looking outside of ourselves for someone else to give to us what we already have and are capable of activating/giving to ourselves.

I recently heard a teleconference with Dr. Michael Beckwith and he made a comment that corresponds with the importance of Relating to Yourself.  He stated that “we cannot notice in others what doesn’t already exist within us”.  Hence, we are actually a reflection of what we are experiencing outside of ourselves.  As you Relate to Yourself by the Spirit, you will remember that you too possess the qualities that you admire and desire.

So in the next few days, take inventory of:

  1. How you Relate to Yourself
  2. How you perceive Spirit relates to you

Once you have identified these qualities, be sure to Relate to Yourself in these ways.  Consequently, you will also be showing others how to relate to you and modeling how they can relate to themselves by the Spirit.  The more love you activate and display, the more love and peace will be in the world.

God Bless and continue to Live By The Spirit.

Spiritual Resources from Dr. Kat!

[The G.R.E.A.T.E.S.T. Soul Journey (e-book)]

[The G.R.E.A.T.E.S.T. Soul Journey (audiobook)]

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2 Responses

  1. Sometimes when you think you know yourself u tend
    to second guess yourself.I’m having a lot of problems finding a real person that knows what being with someone means and they start playing games and i start to think i did something wrong.I sent a text to 6 people that has known me for years and asked them…If someone came to them and asked what kind of person i was what would they tell them and they all had great stuff to say about me.So when somethings go wrong when i start seeing someone should i think it’s me as i relate to myself or should i just think i need to be by myself?I’m loving,Careing,giving,always there for my friends and partner male or female and would give my last so what’s the problem?I had a lady tell me that us being together would be easier if i was a male because she was just that happy but did’n t want to come out because she was not strong enought we work together but i slowed down because i wanted to make here feel comfordable.I keep to myself and a lot of people love how i am but they can’t handle how real i am so i don’t know how to deal with the relate to yourself part sometime.I’m a virgo and i am very deep sometimes what can i do?
    Tell next time love you sisters i’m out.

    • Hi Denise,
      One of the major reasons & importance about “relating to yourself” is to get to know yourself so that as you come into contact with people you are able to see if they are a compliment to your life. The more you know yourself, the more you know what you need and don’t need in your life. This awareness will also give you the strength and courage to either hold on and work through the challenges or know when it is time to let the person go.

      Although compromise occurs within relationships, we have to be clear on those areas where we will not compromise…those areas that are so important to who we are. When we begin to compromise on all things, we are not showing people how to treat us… we are not even treating ourselves like we want to be treated.
      Just as you are “loving, caring, giving, and always there for your friends and partner”, you want to be treated the same way. Therefore, you also must do these things for yourself. When you recognize that you are not receiving what you are giving, you can evaluate how best to handle the situation…

      *Are you looking for someone else to fill a need or desire that you can and/or need to fill yourself?

      *Talk to the other person and let them know that you have some important needs that are not being met (be specific) and you would like them to fill it

      *Evaluate if the relationship is appropriate at its current level. Does the relationship need to be a friendship instead of a romantic partnership? Does the relationship need to elevate from a friendship to a romantic partnership?

      As in any exchange, there is self-evaluation (what part did you play, what part do you want to play) and there is the evaluation of the other (what part do/did they play?). It is also important to be clear on what part did/do they play versus what part you want them to play? Sometimes we want, look for, and expect someone to “play” a part in our life that they are not capable of or interested in playing.

      In my experience with Virgos, they can be very focused (tunnel vision). On one hand when used properly, this can be a great and productive characteristic. However, this same characteristic can also keep them from seeing the other options that are available to them and/or the total picture. Also because they can be so focused on the end goal, they miss the signs along the way that this is not the best option or right direction for them.

      I encourage you to make sure you are looking at the total situation. As you live by the Spirit, be sure to sit still, ask for Divine guidance, and listen to and then follow the Divine Answer.

      Hope this helps,
      God Bless & Continue to Live by the Spirit
      Dr. Walls

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