LIVE: Rejuvenate by the Spirit — Relax, Relate, Release

LIVE! … By the Spirit™ with Kathleen E. Walls

Relax, Relate, Release

© 2010 Kathleen E. Walls

August 6, 2010

The conversations continued this week regarding marriage and relationships. As I spoke with men and women of various ages and marital statuses, I noticed the reoccurring themes of Trust, Communication, Expression of True Feelings, and Honesty.  As I reflected on the conversations, I began to hear and notice the “stress” that was around the individuals and influencing their relationships, and the importance for individuals to Relax, Relate, Release (anybody remember Whitley on A Different World) at times when in and/or establishing a relationship.

Relax:  To reduce in intensity, to relieve from tension or strain.  Many times in a relationship we are trying to either “figure out” where the other person is coming from and/or second-guessing what they are saying and/or their intentions.  Sometimes people are also trying to “catch” the other person in a lie, in an unfavorable situation, or in a trap.  All of these behaviors are stress inducing and can have a negative impact on your individual being as well as the relationship as a whole.  Therefore, it becomes imperative that we Relax in our being and in our relationships.  When we are relaxed, we are able to think, listen, and respond in a clear and purposeful manner.  Also as we relax into Spirit, and listen to what is being said within and around us, we are able to receive the answers to the questions that we seek…even if they are answers we don’t want to hear.

Relate:  To establish a connection, a reciprocal relationship.  During the “relating” aspect of a relationship, we are given the opportunity to communicate who we are, our strengths and areas where we need to grow; what we are looking for in our lives and in our relationship (i.e. friendship, romance, conversation, etc.); and what we can and cannot tolerate (i.e. honest/dishonesty, monogamy, substance use, etc.).  During this time, we also have the opportunity to discuss and monitor our response to each other, if our personalities are compatible, and how we handle situations.  It is during the relating phase that we can truly determine what type of connection we have with another and if we should continue to foster that connection or release it.

Release:  Free from obligation or duty.  The Release aspect of a relationship can have a variety of implications.  It can refer to one releasing past relationship experiences aka “baggage”.  It can also refer to releasing notions about how things are supposed to “go/work” in relationships as well as societal expectations and gender roles so that the individuals involved can authentically be who they are and relate to each other in a genuine way…creating the healthy relationship that they are supposed to have.  The release aspect of the relationship can also consist of acknowledging when it is time to release the situation and/or end the relationship all together.  Many times people out grow each other and/or realize that they are not compatible but because of the sense of “obligation” to the other person or the relationship, the relationship continues despite it’s failing health and dimming shine.

As one is able to Relax into what is, Relate to the experience/relationship in an authentic manner, and Release the unhealthy components of the relationship, one is able to listen to and be guided by Spirit.  Spirit will direct and guide your actions to increase the health of your relationship with yourself and your partner.  You may be led to increase and improve your communication, hear and/or have helpful conversations, read books, watch a certain show, attend lectures/seminars, or seek help.  The fact of the matter is that Spirit wants you have a healthy relationship with yourself, with others, and with Spirit.  Once you are able to Relax, Relate, and Release, Spirit will guide you, and you and your relationships will be open to being Rejuvenated By The Spirit.

God Bless and continue to Live By the Spirit.

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