GIVE: Growing by the Spirit — Growing in Love

GIVE! … By the Spirit™ with Dr. Pennie Murray

Growing in Love

© 2010 Pennie Murray

April 27, 2010

C:\Documents and Settings\Pennie\Local Settings\Temporary Internet Files\Content.IE5\L7JKEYEZ\j0446478[1].jpgWhen I look around it seems most people (me included) are in search of a sound and nourishing relationship that would bring completion and meaning to their lives. However, news reports, research, and personal confessions paint a very bleak forecast that such a finding would ever happen. Many simply conclude that there are no good men or women available. I say, most of us are so busy looking for that “good” person, we have forgotten the ultimate rule of life—“Love others, as you love yourself” (Leviticus 19:18). What, I’m saying is, while we’re looking for that good other person to have a sound and nourishing relationship with, how much effort have we put into our own growth in love.

I have always argued, if we love others by the same measure we love ourselves—no wonder there are no good men and women available.  It’s as the Dali Lama said, “If you have no compassion for yourself then you are not capable of developing compassion for others.” While our desires for love are worthy, it is more important to consider whether, as individuals, we have put enough effort into properly nourishing and growing our personal seeds (spirit, soul, and body), which makes possible our ability to love.

The idea of growth always suggests the initial task of preparation. A seed can only begin to grow to its greatest potential, once it has been properly cared for—in other words, being in good soil, consistent watering, sufficient sunlight, and attention. When a seed is neglected, rarely if ever, will it reach its potential to bear fruit, and if by chance it does, the roots are weak and the fruit is inadequate. Get my drift?

We have all heard a million times, the importance of self-love. I believe a part of engaging in self-love is to put greater effort in growing our ability to love.  Before you can begin growing in love with another person, it is essential to acknowledge whether you are focusing more on what you don’t have in a relationship from the other person, or focusing on the positive things you could be building, enhancing, and promoting within yourself to enrich the relationship you are in or want to be in. In other words, while you are seeking a good man or woman, what good are you offering to build upon?

When two people who are emotionally and mentally healthy in themselves come together love’s flow is natural, and has room and time enough to grow to its greatest potential. Whereas, two insecure, broken people are sure to further weaken the attitude, personality, and values of the other. When is the last time you measured the condition or the growth of your ability to love? Knowing how to love is the cornerstone of any relationship. Unfortunately, when we don’t have healthy role models that demonstrated love when we were growing up, it will often take a lot of effort to grow in love.  But with Spirit, all things are possible—and we are able to reconnect with our core essence to love.

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One Response

  1. Well said Dr. Murray.
    I believe we have to be the role-models to ensure todays children are tomorrows Mentally Healthy and Emotionally Stable adults.

    God Bless.

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